Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator
try here
http://www.pakin.org/complaint/
"I don't normally talk about how King Unj Nha V is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness. However, in this case I'm going to make an exception. I figure it's okay because King Nha should get with the program. To begin with, I have to wonder where King Nha got the idea that it is my view that he is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is. Fortunately, most people understand that those of us who have had to deal with the victims of his assertions don't find his perceptions at all humorous. In view of that, it is not surprising that for those of us who make our living trying to give our young people the values that will inspire them to ensure that we survive and emerge triumphant out of the coming chaos and destruction, it is important to consider that I have a plan to defy King Nha. I call this plan "Operation condemn King Nha's hypocrisy". (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that if we let King Nha excoriate attempts to bring questions of boosterism into the (essentially apolitical) realm of pedagogy in language and writing, then greed, corruption, and denominationalism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions. Since King Nha claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that the first thing we need to do is to get him to admit that he has a problem. King Nha should be counseled to recite the following:
- I, Unj Nha, am a stubborn, nugatory bum.
- I have been a participant in a giant scheme to burn books.
- I hereby admit my addiction to immoralism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.
Once King Nha realizes that he has a problem, maybe then he'll see that he thinks we want him to boss others around. Excuse me, but maybe his cause is not glorious. It is not wonderful. It is not good.
The question, therefore, must not be, "How can King Nha make it impossible to disturb his slovenly gravy train and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result?", but rather, "How much longer can we tolerate his manipulative apothegms before the whole country collectively throws up?". The latter question is the better one to ask, because he thinks that things have never been better. Of course, thinking so doesn't make it so. For proof of this ongoing tragedy, one has only to realize that he has stated that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that he has the mandate of Heaven to redefine success and obscure failure. Now that's just poxy.
What is often overlooked, however, is that in these days of political correctness and the changing of how history is taught in schools to fulfill a particular agenda, King Nha extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. Everybody knows that I decidedly stand foursquare in defense of liberty, freedom of speech, and the right to criticize what I call crafty losers, but you should consider that his opinion is that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that King Nha's claim that corporatism is the only alternative to blackguardism is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity, but an assault on the human mind. I don't object to King Nha's conclusions because King Nha flagrantly abuses rules and regulations and then complains vehemently when caught. I object because I can't possibly believe his claim that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because King Nha is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because his previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that King Nha's new changes will be even more unimaginative, because he will probably never understand why he scares me so much. And King Nha undoubtedly does scare me: His writings are scary, his "compromises" are scary, and most of all, honest people will admit that he does not hold himself answerable to any code of honor. Concerned people are not afraid to foster mutual understanding. And sensible people know that if you are not smart enough to realize this, then you become the victim of your own ignorance. In conclusion, let me just say that some of King Unj Nha V's manifestos raise important questions about future social interactions and their relationship to civil liberties."
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